


Nine

by CodeMythic11000



Series: Welcome to Etheria [2]
Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: A little bit dark, Angst with a Happy Ending, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Cats have nine lives, I didn't miscount, Shadow Weaver | Light Spinner (She-Ra)'s A+ Parenting, So does Catra, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, but its okay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:34:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27284245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CodeMythic11000/pseuds/CodeMythic11000
Summary: She remembers the first time it happens. Catra was playing with Adora and pranking a few of the Force Commanders. Harmless fun, really.Shadow Weaver didn’t think so.
Series: Welcome to Etheria [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1991998
Kudos: 41





	1. One

She remembers the first time it happens. Catra was playing with Adora and pranking a few of the Force Commanders. Harmless fun, really.

Shadow Weaver didn’t think so.

They were both seven at the time and Catra was dragged away alone to be punished for corrupting Shadow Weaver’s “perfect soldier”. She remembers Shadow Weaver’s anger clearly, sharply. Just as clearly as she remembers Adora’s desperation to be by Catra’s side being restrained by Octavia’s physical manhandling of her back to the barracks.

So Catra was brought alone, Shadow Weaver’s sharp talon-like hand digging into her shoulder, dragging her to the Black Garnet chamber. She remembers being afraid, terrified actually, because Shadow Weaver was dangerous, and what follows after wasn’t anything she would wish on anybody.

She remembers Shadow Weaver closing the door behind them. And then after that, pain. Awful unrelenting electric pain. She was fairly certain she’d begged at one point, certain that nothing she’d done could ever warrant _this_.

But the relief never came and the electricity continued to _smother_ her life force as she stared at Shadow Weaver’s unrelenting gaze with wide terrified eyes.

It continued for what felt like forever until it didn’t. When her body finally succumbed to the darkness and Catra fell asleep to the pain.

She woke up to Shadow Weaver leering down at her, pain-free and confused because she was certain she’d . . .

As a soldier, she’d been taught about death. And she’d never been so sure in her life about something like she was then. She _knew_ she had died. It was a feeling that rested deep within her bones. Awfully heavy and unable to be ignored.

“Up, child,” Shadow Weaver commanded and Catra scrambled to her feet, desperate not to anger her anymore. She felt different, fresh, clean, and energetic and yet still filled with an awfully sick, dreadful feeling.

She couldn’t have _died_ , could she?

“This was a hard lesson to teach you but one that had to be done.” Shadow Weaver said in a tone that allowed for none of Catra’s usual snide remarks or toying responses. “You’re smart enough. I’m sure you’ve realized that something just happened. Let me enlighten you.” Shadow Weaver grabbed Catra’s jaw and stared unforgivingly into Catra’s wide eyes. “Creatures such as yourself have been gifted with the blessing of multiple lives. How many, I’m not sure but you will know when you’re down to your last life. These lives of yours are not to be wasted over such trifle matters. Do _not_ make me see fit to take one from you again. _Do you understand?”_

Unable to nod with Shadow Weaver’s hand so firmly wrapped around her jaw, Catra responded uncomfortably, “Yes Shadow Weaver.”

“Good,” Shadow Weaver released Catra’s face and used the same hand to wipe the tear tracks from Catra’s eyes and raise her chin to meet her gaze. “Do not use this as an excuse to underperform, Catra. If something were to happen, I _expect_ you to sacrifice one of your lives for the sake of Adora’s. But do _not_ go throwing them away and do _not_ tell Adora of this. I do _not_ want her knowing of this, do you _understand_?”

“Yes, Shadow Weaver.”

“Good, then you are free to go but remember, this stays between us. You wouldn’t want a repeat of today now would you?”

“No, Shadow Weaver.”

“Good, now go.”

Catra got out of there as fast as she could and hid away, slipping in between some boxes in a storage room and hugging her knees, trying to still her shaking. Adora found her hours later, still shaking, and concerned, inquired about what happened. Catra refused to give in and eventually Adora relented, choosing instead to squeeze herself between the boxes and lean against Catra’s shoulder than agitate her any further.

Despite Adora’s many later attempts, Catra never spoke of what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw the video that goes through all of Catra's deaths in the show but I did not agree. If I had to choose moments within the show where Catra died, then yes, I would probably choose those same moments. But I do not believe that all deaths were contained within the show. 
> 
> I make Shadow Weaver out to be even more of an ass than the show does. There is a reason for this, but it will not be explained in this work specifically. Unfortunately, as much as I want to keep everything to just one work, it will be a lot easier on my organizational skills if I just do it as separate works.


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number two

The second time was a training accident and Adora was there for it. It was a particularly messy training session. They were uncoordinated, slow but quick to get angry with each other. Adora was becoming increasingly frustrated with Catra’s and Lonnie’s quick tempers (the aftermath of a fight between them over dinner last night) and wasn’t as focused as she normally was. And when Adora gets unfocused and upset, she becomes increasingly reckless.

In her frustration, Adora slammed the end of her staff into the body of the training robot, one of the big ones meant to represent the Queen, and it bucked, throwing Adora off her feet. The bot teetered, clearly Adora had managed to strike some sort of important machinery (Catra didn’t know exactly, she wasn’t a mechanic). And began to tumble over as soon as Adora managed to get back to her feet. The blonde still wasn’t paying attention though and Catra cried out and leaped towards her, only managing to confuse Adora more.

It almost looked like she wasn’t going to make it and then she _did_ , shoving Adora to the side and swapping places with the blonde.

The blow wasn’t fatal. Yes, the machine was heavy and she’d been crushed, but it didn’t land a killing blow. Catra could feel a sharp pain in her head where she’d hit the ground and a sharper pain where the bot had nearly caved in one of her lungs. Her legs were twisted, definitely broken. But she wasn’t dead and something told her she wouldn’t die. The Horde had enough technology to fix this, but not completely, not without healing magic, something that Shadow Weaver did not specialize in. Enough to not die.

But something told her she’d likely be stuck with a limp.

So she sacrificed. Didn’t even know she could until that moment. She gave up a life to be able to fully heal her injuries and did this as soon as the other cadets had pulled up the bot enough to get the pressure off her legs and chest, breathing in a sigh of relief as her bones miraculously returned to normal. The sense of doom filled her immediately and she knew what happened.

As soon as the bot was removed, Adora was on her, fussing over Catra’s wellbeing. Catra could see the very beginnings of tears beginning to show at the corners of her eyes, could see the way Adora struggled to keep the tears in. Crying was a sign of weakness in the Horde, and everybody knew the consequences. Nobody but Catra probably knew this but Adora struggled the most with it. She was too soft (maybe not as soft as Kyle) and it was something that Catra ~~loved~~ _hated_ about her. The habit was quickly being beaten out of her though. Someday, Catra imagined that Adora would become just as beaten down and practically emotionless (save for anger and fear, something the Horde dealt out in spades) as the rest of them.

She feared that day. Feared the day that Adora would stop caring.

She was the only one that did.

Shaken, but stubbornly not going to show any sort of weakness in front of the others, Catra waved her off.

“I’m fine Adora, I just hit my head a bit.”

“There’s blood all over you, Catra, that’s more than just your _head_ ,” Adora argued and grabbed Catra by the hand. “Come on, we’ve got to get you to the infirmary.”

A sense of fear flooded through her at the thought of going to the infirmary. If she went, she would be seen as even more of a slack off in Shadow Weaver’s eyes and _that couldn’t happen_. So she shook her head and fought.

“Seriously, Adora, I’m fine. I’m just a little banged up. Look, keep an eye on me if you want, but I’m _fine_.” The last word is almost snarled out in her desperation. Adora looked at her as if she’d grown a second head but there’s only a little bit more arguing between them before the blonde relented. She relented a lot when it came to Catra.

Catra breathed out a sigh of relief. That’s one crisis avoided. She doesn’t fully understand Shadow Weaver’s insistence on keeping Adora out of the loop, but if Adora knew, she wouldn’t get as worried about Catra as she does.

Catra didn’t fully understand why but she both hated and loved Adora’s concern for her. Hated because it’s annoying. Loved because Adora was the only one that cared. And Catra didn’t want her to stop doing so because she didn’t need yet another reason to think that her life was worth any less.

So when she curled up at the foot of Adora’s bed that night and Adora plopped her pillow down near Catra’s back rather than at the other side of the bed like usual, Catra tried to avoid the urge to purr. She succeeded, but it’s a near thing and she spent the majority of the night listening to Adora’s loud obnoxious breathing instead of thinking about the uneasiness that always persisted for hours after her death or the feeling of weakness deep within her bones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All of these chapters are going to be a bit depressing and dark. Some more so than others. The next chapter is rough.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEADS UP: This chapter is significantly darker than the last and contains some suicidal thoughts. If you are not comfortable with reading such things, please just skip ahead. All you need to know is that Catra lost another life. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I have not, at any point in my life, been depressed or suicidal. If my work or interpretation of suicide, therapy, or similar concepts offends anybody or seems wrong, let me know. I will work on it. These chapters can be edited.

Catra knew Shadow Weaver would be angry when she failed to bring Adora back. She _knew_ she would be absolutely pissed. But she’d ~~thought~~ _hoped_ that Shadow Weaver might be satisfied with the promise that Catra _will_ get Adora back.

She was wrong. _She was very wrong._

It was worse than the first time. Shadow Weaver had clearly picked up a couple of nasty spells because it took _nearly an hour_ before Catra’s heart finally gave out.

She woke up to Shadow Weaver picking her body up off the floor and throwing her out of the chamber. The sense of doom was worse this time. It paralyzed her limbs, froze her lungs, and left her gasping for breath on the cold metal floor. She was unaware of the time that passed, but she knew that she couldn’t move for several long moments afterward.

And when she finally had the strength to pick herself up off the floor, she shoved herself to her feet and forced her body to _get out of there because if Shadow Weaver caught her laying about she might lose another._

The weakness did not go away until the morning of the next day, but even when it did, some remnants of it persisted, pulling at the edges of her mind, wearing her patience.

Catra always knew that she had less than stellar mental health. She knew that she probably would fail every psych exam she took seriously (she lied every time and Shadow Weaver probably knew which was why she was denied any sort of leadership position). The Horde didn’t care about people’s mental health but they couldn’t have insecure minds in any sort of leadership position. The exams were a tactic to weed out anybody that might have a breakdown in battle, but Catra knew for a fact that she enjoyed the thrill of the fight too much to break down in battle. After all, coming home was far more terrifying.

So, when she looked at the reflection that morning and stared at her ragged death wrought appearance (losing her best friend and a life on the same day did a number on her), she debated. Because maybe if she sped up the process it would be over faster and she could be _done_ with this bullshit.

She got as far as raising her unsheathed claws to her neck before Shadow Weaver’s voice whispered in her ear.

“ _Do_ not _go throwing them away_.”

Her chest seized and her other set of claws tightened on the metal sink with a horrendous screech. Catra ripped her claws away with a shout.

No, it wasn’t worth it. She looked again at her reflection and smoothed down her agitated mane the best she could.

It wasn’t worth Shadow Weaver’s wrath. Maybe if she found a way to survive this, survive the betrayal and the heartbreak, she could get back at the witch and finally rid herself of that fear.

Months later when her claws tear across Shadow Weaver’s mask with Scorpia’s strength at her back, she grins, happy for once in her life, proud, and completely taken aback by the sense of control that is given to her as Shadow Weaver is taken away. Control that she knew she needed but never thought she would gain.

The feeling, she thinks then, is freeing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I would love to say that this is the darkest chapter it's not. Seven is. Catra is far too stubborn to actually die. The only reason she's so unstable in this chapter is that it's immediately after a particularly nasty death. Losing a life takes a told on Catra's mind and hopefully, that proves to be a little bit more clear as the story moves forward. If she was on her last life, she would not choose to end it in this fashion at this point. 
> 
> Again, another very short chapter but unfortunately not the shortest. The next couple of chapters are even shorter and there are specific reasons why I left them that way.


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number four

A bit of a pattern is beginning to emerge as the fourth life is sacrificed. Catra is riding a high after seeing Adora again and having a successful plan come to fruition. She and Scorpia bombed a party (quite literally), she dances with Adora (and tries not to think about how much she enjoys it), and then sometime later, Catra falls off the side of an ice palace and plummets several hundred feet. (Adora tries to save her but Catra doesn’t need to be saved and she can’t help the red hot rage that curls in her gut at Adora’s continued protectiveness of her.)

It never stops to amaze her how quickly she went from best friend to most hated enemy.

Catra falls onto the top of the Horde ship with a loud crack that scares Scorpia but Catra just shakes her head and shakes off another life like it's nothing, standing on her newly healed legs and forcing a smile on her face as she looks up at Adora and waves cheekily. She hopes it freaked her out. 

The panic-inducing uneasiness is quick to come and so is the weakness, just as paralyzing if not more so than last time. But Catra has an image to uphold and she powers through it, trying to ignore the way it tears at her vision and leaves her body weak and shaky for days after.

Hours later, after learning that Shadow Weaver took credit for Catra’s success, Catra leans against the wall, body shaking with exertion. The post mortem weakness is particularly bad this time. After a day, it finally begins to fade but a slight tremor in her bones remains.

Catra wonders how many more of these deaths she will be able to handle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is almost laughably short. I also fought with the tense in this chapter but I think it's okay now even if it's different from the last. Perhaps later I will redo this chapter to make it longer but I honestly don't think it's entirely necessary. If you're here, you've seen She Ra and you've likely seen this exact scene considering its the eighth episode.


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number five

The fifth time she doesn’t even know if Hordak realized what he’s done, doesn’t know if Shadow Weaver told him about what she could do.

Suffocation is not a fun way to go. None of the ways she’s experienced so far has been. It’s not the worst (Shadow Weaver’s lightning might forever hold that title) but it still sucks. She starts choking for air quickly, but clearly, Hordak is not willing to let her off easy because the air doesn’t return and eventually her vision blackens to nothing.

When she wakes up, the air is back and Hordak is looking at her curiously. She hopes he doesn’t fully realize what just happened (she doesn’t want to be a lab ~~rat~~ cat, thank you very much) and bolts out of there as soon as she can.

The weakness afterward is worst than the previous times and it doesn’t seem to go away. Her limbs remain frail and the feeling isn’t always quite there and Catra wonders if she’s dying for real. She powers through anyways because she has to. All of this _has_ to have been for something.

She tries to ignore the way the weakness and desperation and _hurt_ tears at her sanity.

Her fear later on when Entrapta talks about retrieving a tool from Hordak’s lab is wild, rampant, and desperate. Maybe she didn’t handle that situation as well as she could have but Entrapta didn’t have nine lives like Catra did and for whatever reason, Catra cared. She didn’t show it well, but she did care.

She’d rather that Entrapta hate her than suffocate as she did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shortie. More of a quick summary at this point than an actual chapter BUT I just want to get through this work so I can move onto the next ones (I needed this one out of the way first for reasons).


	6. Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number six

Later, after it's all over, she decides that the portal is by far the worst decision of her life. But at the moment, she’s only angry and hurt and she doesn’t want Adora to win so she pulls the lever.

And for several short blissful hours, she forgets. Forgets the fact that she has multiple lives, forgets the feeling of weakness in her bones and the sense of doom in her chest, forgets the fact that Adora ever left.

For several short blissful hours, she has Adora back and they’re happy again. Shadow Weaver is still a bitch but she’s tolerable. Catra isn’t completely hated by people too and overall it's just some kind of paradise.

But then Adora remembers and leaves again and Catra tries to follow to stop her (she starts to remember too but refuses to try to unlock all of her memories because none of them seem to be good) but eventually falls into the fracturing reality.

There isn’t any pain when she falls, not physically. The full brute force of her memories, her true memories, come rushing in and it _hurts_ because she remembers. For a moment she’s stunned, but before she’s fully absorbed by the fracturing light she decides that _no_ , she’s not going to let Adora ruin this, ruin her perfect world.

So she lets a life go, lets the weakness set in. But the portal is a twisted angry place and the fractured light leaves a scar on her body, on her mind. She loses control of herself, only half of her seems to be there, so afterward, she only remembers bits and pieces but she does remember being angry.

Very angry. She doesn’t know all that she said but she does know that Adora was just as angry with her.

She does, however, remember getting punched.

(From what little remembers though, she probably deserved it.)

The second time she falls though, she doesn’t push through and get back up. The portal doesn’t take another life. (It didn’t take anybody else’s, so why should it take hers.)

She comes to and She-Ra is walking through the swirling energy of the portal, slashing through the portal device soon after. Catra is secretly grateful, but the room isn't structurally safe anymore and she is forced to leave.

She doesn’t fully understand ~~Adora’s~~ She-Ra’s angry glare at her but she can hazard a guess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still really short, but better.


	7. Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEADS UP: Another dark chapter with suicidal themes. Again, if you are not comfortable with such things, skip this chapter. All you need to know is that during the fight with Hordak at the end of season four, Catra loses a life. 
> 
> Again DISCLAIMER: I have not ever experienced depression or suicidal thoughts. If anybody feels that my interpretation is not correct or worse, offensive, let me know. I will gladly try to fix it.

She’s seen Hordak angry before but usually, it was just some kind of hissy fit, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. She often wondered how the man was in any kind of leadership position if he threw fits like that but who was she to talk.

This, however, was a level of angry she’d never seen before.

And of course, it was about Entrapta.

The fight was arguably the longest and most dangerous she’d ever been in. Whenever she’s in battle, she usually just targets Adora to distract her. But Adora’s never actively tried to kill her. Even when she’s really ticked off. Now, _Glimmer_ got close to doing some actual damage but she’s been shocked by worse with Shadow Weaver.

This fight with Hordak, though, did a number on her body but she was still standing. Double Trouble, however, dealt a harsher blow to her.

Not physically, oh no, Double Trouble preferred not to get their hands dirty. Their betrayal though, their little speech at the end, that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. She had nothing else to live for. She’d destroyed any and all possible friendships, ruined thousands of peoples’ lives, and all for nothing.

Years ago, at the start of this awful struggle, Catra had hesitated, held back by Shadow Weaver’s control over her life. This time, she didn’t. The control she had over her life was now a noose she was ready to hang from. Her claws struck quickly, desperately hoping for this to be the last one, for it to be _over_.

It was the quickest, and therefore easiest death she’d ever had.

But she still woke up. The sense of doom, however, was stronger than it had ever been before and suddenly she was filled with paralyzing panic because _this was it_. There was no true explanation for how she knew. Just a deep feeling that settled in her bones and tugged at her heart, leaving her gasping.

She’d made it down to her last life. But the weakness that followed her death prevented her from striking again and finishing the job.

And then Glimmer came, and for one hopeful moment, Catra thought that Sparkles would finish the job for her.

But soon Glimmer was glowing and lines that looked alarmingly like First One’s tech crawled across her skin. She cried out and started saying something about the heart before teleporting off to who knows where.

Catra knew enough to figure the rest out. The Rebellion’s secret superweapon had backfired and was now set to destroy the whole planet.

Somehow, she couldn’t bring it in herself to care.


	8. Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Number eight. Almost done.

She thought she would be ready for it.

She thought she wouldn’t care.

She thought that she would be happy that it’s finally over.

She was wrong. She’s never been more terrified in her life.

She’s finally done something good in her life and as the mass of clones restrain her every limb and drag her off to Prime, she’s both grateful and regretful that she’d been so reckless with her lives previously.

Grateful because it's over. Because all she has to do is get through this next task, this next ordeal, this last chapter in her life and it will be over. Prime will kill her and that will be it. She’ll be _free_ from this awful train wreck of a life.

Regretful because despite everything, she wasn’t ready to die.

Prime does not kill her.

Instead, he strips away everything that she is. He takes away her control over her own life so wholly and completely that she wants to _beg_ to be given the same control Shadow Weaver gave her.

Then he reshapes her in his image.

She’s chipped and purified first. And then once she’s nothing more than a slave to his will he has her remake herself. It is his command at which she raises the scissors to her own head and hacks away. A nearby clone finishes the job once she’s taken care of most of her mane, makes sure she looks nice, makes sure she’s proper. No more of that wild, animal thing that she used to be.

She clothes herself in the trademark white and gray of Prime and waits for her next command.

Because that’s all she will do now. There’s nothing more. It isn’t like some sort of room she’s locked in where she pounds at the glass she can’t break and watches as somebody else controls the wheel. Not really.

Prime _is_ in control. There’s nothing Catra can do against Prime. But Catra still has the wheel.

She follows Prime’s command because she wants to. (But she doesn’t.)

She bows and presses her face into the ground, groveling in a way she never has before, because she believes in Horde Prime. (She doesn’t.)

She is grateful for everything Prime has done after she stepped into the light. (She hates this. If this was the light, she’d rather stick to the shadows, thanks.)

But Prime would not have it any other way and so neither would Catra.

And then Adora actually came for her. She tried to fight the chip briefly, knowing Prime’s intentions and unwilling fight Adora when she’s like this but Prime knew all and quickly put an end to such intentions.

Fighting Adora again was a surreal experience. She wasn’t angry. Just oddly, creepily, happy with life. Her moves were slow, heavy, completely unlike her. Catra was doing everything she can to keep from hurting Adora anymore. She kept her fists closed and threw punches instead of slashing with her claws. But the chip’s grip on her mind is strong and she slips. Her claws later open to drag across Adora’s back.

Catra fought, but Adora mostly just defended, unwilling to lash out against her. (Catra wished Adora would just finish her off and free her from this hell.)

She was briefly detained by Adora but Prime merely has her twist her arm out of place to free herself and continue the fight. Catra wondered what that looked like to Adora (she was probably horrified) but she didn’t really care. She didn’t feel much at this point. Just gratefulness for Prime’s mercy.

And then, Adora slammed her against the steps and her mind was suddenly filled with emotion. The onslaught only lasted a moment before the chip quickly regained control and she was emotionless again.

But she was Catra, for a moment.

The chip almost has her step off the ledge but Adora stopped her. 

But suddenly Prime’s _there._ He’s always there, always watching but usually from a distance. Now though, he was plucking at her puppet strings, controlling her exactly the way he wanted.

She wouldn’t have clawed into Adora like that otherwise, wouldn’t have held her over the edge.

In a fit of anger, Adora slammed her into the screen and something in the chip broke because suddenly Catra could _think_. And she truly saw Adora on her own for the first time, not through the hazy green of mind control.

And then the screen broke and shocked the chip and Catra suddenly has more control than she’s felt in weeks, ever since the chip was first implanted. She opened her eyes and she could talk but then the chip has her again.

But she could fight it better this time and she tried so hard but she’s walking towards the ledge. She stopped before then because Adora is talking and it is so much easier to focus on Adora and stay in control for Adora but . . .

Prime was watching.

The electric pain she felt as Prime lashed out at her still wasn’t as bad as Shadow Weaver’s, but it darkened her vision and made her body crumple and fall off the ledge.

She was still alive enough to feel the impact. Still alive enough to hear Adora.

“Catra, it’s okay. I’m here.”

She’d never been so grateful to hear such words in her life. She realized suddenly that she never got the chance. Never got the chance to tell Adora how she felt. She tried to speak but only managed a few gasping breathes before her consciousness fades away.

She died for the last time in Adora’s arms.


	9. RESET

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a summary for this one.

She wakes up to a heartbeat. One that’s beating frantically, worried, right next to her ear. She doesn’t understand why she’s alive but there’s a strength in her bones that she doesn’t remember ever being there. The feeling of weakness is gone. The sense of dread is gone. She’s tired and sore and there’s still an ache in her bones but she knows she’ll heal from this.

The chip is still there, still pulling slightly at her mind, but its control over her is gone. She’s _free_.

She opens her eyes and smiles happily at the sight of Adora, and now that she knows the source, she tilts her head to be able to hear that heartbeat better.

But then Adora is hugging her and at first, Catra is shocked but it's also the best thing ever and she hugs back because she’s _so so grateful_. Grateful for once in her life to be alive. Grateful that Sparkles and Arrow Boy and _Adora_ gave her a second chance.

She’s so grateful that Adora came back.

There's darkness and panic creeping at the edges of her mind but right now she just wants to hold her ~~ex~~ best friend close and pretend that everything is going to be okay because for once in her life she’s safe. Maybe later she’ll let the panic and pain slip in but right now she can’t bring herself to be anything other than relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is also painfully short. Oh well.
> 
> If you counted the deaths and realized that I only described eight, not nine, deaths, you would be correct. This was done on purpose in preparation for a later work that will be included in the series. Whether or not you stick around long enough to get to that point is entirely up to you. 
> 
> I am also fully aware that I keep switching the tenses throughout this work. I might go back and fix it if it proves to bother people, but otherwise, I probably won't. 
> 
> As for why I didn't just stuff all of the chapters into one normal sized chapter than a bunch of short ones: I felt that splitting them up better emphasized each death. Made it more likely that you would realize that there's eight, not nine. There wasn't really any other reason. I had finished all of Nine before I wrote Razz and Razz was posted first.


End file.
